Monday, December 31, 2007

Wishing a Happier New Year to ALL

I started this year with a D&C for blighted ovum. I'm ending the year pregnant. But I still worry that next year will start the same. Despite the fact that everything seems to be going fine.

My u/s this morning showed one definite gestational sac in my uterus, and maybe a little something else. Dr. Mumbles would not elaborate any further, and I decided not to ask. I certainly don't thing he anticipates twins in our future. When I pushed him to comment on my progress, he said things looked alright, but we were NOT out of the woods yet. I can't tell if he is just being cautious with my feelings, or whether he is concerned about my slightly slow progress. Today I am 5w5d (or 5w6d depending if you include ER day) -- and we were just finally able to see the sac. It wasn't clear to me if he could see the yolk sac, and the gestational sac looked a little small to me, but he said it was fine. It turns out my beta today was 4100, which doubled in 48hrs from 1950 on Saturday. So this is good, since things can slow down after you reach 2000.

So basically, everything looks fine. My numbers fall in the acceptable ranges, we saw the sac easily once we were over 2000. Yet I just can't get excited, not yet. I do have moments -- I'll think about "when the baby comes," but then I smack myself and yell "FOOL!" I hate that I've become this. I want the next 1-2 weeks to speed by. I want to see that heartbeat. I want to breathe and be relieved. But I worry that I'll find something else to worry about.

At the close of this year, I want to say thank you. To everyone who has welcomed and supported me these last months. I didn't expect that blogging would become such an essential part of my day (it has in fact been a bit addictive). I certainly didn't expect to find so many amazing women who I admire and respect and feel that I've come to know. I hope to meet some of you in the future, and I look forward to having you along with me for this journey. No matter how long it lasts.

11 comments:

niobe said...

Wishing a Happy New Year to you. This must be so incredibly stressful, despite the reassuring u/s.

Carrie said...

I'm so pleased things are looking better. I really hope 2008 is a great year for you and by this time next year you'll have an extra family member x

fizzledink said...

Oh, I hope the next few weeks FLY BY. I know what it's like, that feeling of walking on eggshells in your own mind, afraid to think too much about what might be. For me, passing the milestones of my earlier losses was when I could finally breathe and enjoy it.

Happy New Year!
Fizz

maryellenandsteve said...

Happy New Year! The u/s definitely sound reassuring. I am so happy for you! I hope the next couple of weeks go quickly.

Lori said...

I'm so glad to hear that all systems are still "go."

Joining in the Happy New Year chorus!

chicklet said...

Happy new year to you too. Hopefully 2008 starts better than 2007:-)

Delenn said...

Happy New Year, Amy! Glad to hear progress. Hope the next 2 weeks fly by for you.

My Reality said...

I am glad things are going well so far and I hope they continue to do so.

Happy New Year to you!

Portia P said...

Happy New Year Amy!

I've just caught up on three posts and it's sounding better and better. Fingers crossed and i hope the next few weeks FLY!

xx

Aurelia said...

Happy New Year!

And you are very very welcome!

Rebecca said...

OMG - that is so awesome...congratulations!