Monday, December 17, 2007

9dp3dt, 12dpo -- Where I Come Clean

It's shameful really. I have been unable to resist the pee monsters. When I learned that you might get a positive with an OPK, I dug out a bunch of old ones in my closet and went to town. Of course, they weren't very helpful. Turns out most of them were expired, and I didn't get anything notable. So then on Friday I hit the dollar store. Couldn't hold back any longer. It was only 6dp3dt, but I did it anyway. Negative. Being the positive, cup-half-full girl that I am (NOT), I figured at least I knew trigger shot was gone. I indulged again yesterday, negative.

I know that it is still early, and things could change in just a day. But this is so hard. And the DH is getting tired of hearing me be so negative. I understand, he's the positive guy. And nothing he says can change my pessimism, so he's tired of trying. I just can't seem to muster any hope that this is going to be different this time. And this is the last time. I have no symptoms, and my previously perky breasteses are now back to normal. I try to remember that it took several days WITH symptoms before I got a positive HPT with The Snake -- so maybe I tend to be slow to make hCG. But its hard to hang my hat on that.

Okay, sorry for the pity party. Just feeling a bit unhinged. I'd like to try and hold out until 11dp3dt (14dpo) before testing again -- but I think the monsters might get me tomorrow.

244 comments:

1 – 200 of 244   Newer›   Newest»
Becks said...

Right with you long lost twin. My efforts to hold back haven't worked either...we're in the same boat, thinking its sinking, desperately hoping its not.

chicklet said...

I'm so with you, I just haven't given in to the sticks yet. I lay in bed for a half hour each morning debating it but beign so afraid to see the negative that I get up and get rid of it before I can test. I also this morning woke up bloated and with a backache which are pretty sure signs AF is coming. Hang in there, I don't know what to say, it all sucks.

Delenn said...

I think its too early. I am thinking positive vibes for you...

Magpie said...

I'm sorry - but do keep waiting - sticky happy positive thoughts towards you.

DD said...

I finally got to a point with Mr. DD that I couldn't share these moments when I needed him the most b/c he thought I was too pessimistic. I finally told him that I just need his support and that it's his job to get me back on my feet when I was feeling the shittiest.

One of my pregnancies didn't come up positive until the afternoon of 13dpo. I will keep you in my thoughts. It may not seem like much, but I hope it's enough for now.

Shelby said...

Definitely too early! I would give it another day or two, and try again. I am sending lots of sticky vibes up your way!!

Leah said...

This sounds so cliche, but it is still very early. You know that I'm a hopeless pee stick junkie, so I will always encourage you to pee, pee, pee away every day, multiple times a day until you get the result you want!! I didn't get a barely positive pee stick until the night of 11dpo.

Keep on peeing on the sticks, and keep the faith!!

LIW (Lady In Waiting) said...

It's a brutal process. Do whatever you can to hang on to your sanity!

XOXO

Carrie said...

Oh, it is just too difficult. Too difficult to pee and too difficult not to. I hope you are hanging in there and things are different tomorrow.
I wish there was something clever I could say to help you cope with all this stress, I can't think of a single thing. I am thinking of you. A lot xx

Ms. Planner said...

I can only imagine the stress of it all right now. Sending you a little peace and extra strength to get through the next few difficult days. Hugs to you from afar. Hang in there my friend.

Portia P said...

I'm sorry Amy. Hoping that it is too early.

Hang on in there.

My Reality said...

It isn't over yet. . .

Aurelia said...

You could have malfunctioning pee sticks. Mine where. They were all negative, until the blood showed up positive with a nice beta.

Go get a beta. Goooooo.

Geohde said...

The negatives are just a horrible pit of the stomach sensation, especially after all the build up that is IVF.

I hope your negatives turn into positives, soon,

xx

J

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