I hate that I'm not really writing about anything but my cycle, but I'm low on time. Resident Boy is on vacation and we are trying to get ready for the holidays. So I've only had a little time for blogging. Sorry!
Today's scan was pretty good. Although Dr. Smooth almost walked in on me standing in the middle of the exam room sans clothes from the waist down. When I said "just a minute," he wasn't really listening and started to come in! I had to say again, with a bit of irritation, "just a minute," and he got the message. He felt really bad. I didn't really care that much, just about everyone in the office has seen my hooha -- although I guess the receptionist has been spared.
There were quite a few follicles, at least 8-10 around the same size. To me they looked around the 12-14 mm mark, but as usual he didn't say. And today I didn't ask. Trying the less is more approach. But E2 did more than double (up to 1600ish from that 660ish) -- so they actually backed down my meds a bit. I asked him whether he thought we would make it to trigger. He hedged of course. With how my last cycle went, I don't totally blame him -- I could crap out at anytime. But I'm thinking if we can get pretty close by day 12 of stims, that we will be okay.
On a deep level there is a tiny glimmer of something making me think this cycle is different. Whether its the dhea or the new protocol, I don't know. But last night I started actually thinking about how we could come up with dough for putting some in the freezer. And even how we'd do an FET to try for a third child later. How crazy am I? Of course, I promptly did a 180 and worried what I would do when this cycle was canceled. Ain't cycling fun?
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8 comments:
Similar boat. I'm feeling like this one's different, but as the husband says, we're paying for hope so let's enjoy it. However whenever I get hopeful, I freak out about how bad it will be if it doesn't work CUZ I allowed myself to hope. Fun shit eh? Good luck:-)
"Ain't cycling fun?"
I know you're joking, but my first response was to run screaming hell nooooooo. But I'm in the cycle from hell right now, I didn't hate it so much last time...
J
Oh yes J, that was definitely sarcasm. I know we would all rather not have to do ANY of this.
Wow--those numbers and follies sound great! I'm sorry the doc was hedging, but I think that's what they all do. (Smirky did that to us up until trigger day.) So, here's hoping that the new protocol is doing the trick! Come on, l'il follies!
I am hoping the DHEA does wonders for you!
I understand the whole 180 thing. I think that's what makes it so so difficult. Hope up, crash down, little more hope, well maybe this might work, crash down, repeat, repeat, repeat.
I'm glad you're feeling more positive due to the changes. Different is good.
And as for doctors, it's so difficult to get a straight answer, I reckon asking your 'less is more' approach is very sensible.
Cycling will make you stressed, depressed, bipolar, hyperactive, and schizophrenic! It is total mind torture!
As crazy as you feel, it is good to keep your mind open to all possibilities.
:)
good luck! i'll be thinking about you.
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