Thursday, February 7, 2008

Lessons in Futility

With our lives on verge of so much change, I decided it is time for the pre-schooler to become more independent. Honestly, it had nothing to do with the raging hormones that morning.

I advised The Snake that I would no longer be giving advice on matching his clothes, and that he would need to perform the entire task of dressing on his own. I was certain he was capable, and had in fact witnessed this accomplishment on rare occasions.

Typical of his age, dawdling ensued. There was plenty of sitting on the bed naked and reading of books. Eventually I completed my own morning rituals and announced I would be heading downstairs to breakfast. Note: the general rule is to administer The Snake's allergy/asthma meds and brush teeth prior to a trip to the kitchen. Therefore, my announcement resulted in hysterical tears. I assured him we would complete those tasks after breakfast, but I was no longer going to nag constantly remind him to "get dressed."

While eating, I tried to scare the bejesus motivate him to start his morning on his own by reminding him that next year he would be in kindergarten and need to go to school in the morning.

His reply: Good thing I'm still in Pre-k, huh Mom? And I go in the afternoon.

You don't want to know how things went when I announced I'd no longer be wiping his butt either.


Adriane said...

This post just cracked me up! The Snake sounds like quite a character!

Oh, and sorry about the double tag! :-)

Lori said...

You know, I have tried the "you're almost-5-and-should-be-wiping-yourself" bit. But I end up paying the consequences when he does, with delayed moans of,

"Mommy, my bottom hurts."

So I end up doing it anyway.

And in the process, he's created an icky mess on his hands, in the bathroom, etc.

Ick. How do you deal?

I sometimes wonder if I'll still be doing this when he's in college. Haha. Joke, I think.

Anonymous said...

Ugh. The morning routines are so frustrating. I love his comment - and the last line of this cracked me up! I'll be back.

And thanks for the comment over at my place. :)


Anonymous said...

I guess he told you!

Tash said...

God, don't get me started on Tuesday where I picked THE WRONG green pants, and then she couldn't get THE RIGHT green pants on all by herself WITH NO MOMMY OR DADDY HELP. (End shot: dragging uncombed screaming and crying tot into school where normally she is giddily bouncing 10 feet ahead of me waving g'bye.) Not. Pretty. Can't wait 'til the teen years, those will rock.

Michelle said...

Great post! That is so funny. (And I had kindergarteners who ANNOUNCED to me that they didn't poop at school. They pooped at home so that Mommy could wipe their butt. So don't be so sure about that threat....)

Ms. Planner said...

What a funny, funny post. But HOW (good lord) do you wipe a preschooler's bottom when you are fighting nausea? As messy as it may be until they get the drill, I kind of consider wiping-your-own-bottom one of those essential life skills. Good luck with it!

Delenn said...

I read this. I had my husband read it. Then we both said "Sounds like Michael!"

Good luck!

Lately, my son now wants to get dressed as soon as he gets up--even on the weekends!!

slouching mom said...

Sigh. I grow so tired of nagging.

And the wiping issue. Let's just say that Jack is still working on it -- and he's six and two months old.

Pamela Jeanne said...

Ah. These are the kinds of posts that make me appreciate how easy it is me to exit the house in the morning. Sounds like you've got a handful in Snake -- a smart handful, but a handful nonethelessjavascript:void(0)
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