Evil Anxiety

There are so many things to share about from the last two weeks, but I'm feeling so strange today. Some how I'm just overwhelmed with anxiety and sadness. The trip out west went okay, but after each 4 hour flight I had some light brown spotting for 12-24 hrs. No cramping or other symptoms and each event seems to be over. But today my abdomen just feels intermittently tight and uncomfortable (probably just stretching, but of course I doubt). I'm tired but not able to really sleep. I have a mild headache from not really doing anything all day. I have no appetite. I get dizzy easily (this has been happening throughout on occasion).

I just feel intensely sad and worried. Which is so ridiculous since I've been able to feel movement for a more than a week. I'm 16 and a half weeks and have felt the babies even today -- although my mood has me convinced that it is less than other days. I just can't shake this spooked feeling.

I've finally caught up with my back log of blog posts, and was disappointed to find more sad news lately. Of course there are some who are doing just fine, but is it easier to focus on the bad today. What is wrong with me!?

Our trip to LA was helpful, although we still don't know exactly where we will live. There are literally a 1000 things to get done in the next 2 weeks and I don't fathom how it will all happen when I feel so BLAH. Of course we came home to gray, rainy weather and over a foot of melting snow -- so that's not helping. I am lucky that my lovely DH is home this weekend, and he is keeping The Snake out of my hair. He has been so good to me lately, as always. He is positive things will all be fine, both with the babies and our year in LA. I just can't seem to latch on to that today.

I know I should just let go, chill out today and hope that tomorrow is better. I'll try.